McChocoBurger
by Cueball
Summary: One day, the Turks do a nice thing, and save a Diner from certain destruction, their reward? Free Chocoburgers for life, but evil is a foot and the Turks are all thumbs. :D my first new fic in two years


McChocoburger, it was a little diner on the corner of Jackson and Main,  
which just happened to mark the edge of two very different gangs, it  
was constantly shifting into the others territory and so until recently  
was populated by members from both gangs, which meant it was a constant  
warzone.

That was until recently...

You see, the Turks had been contacted by Dr Barret, the propieter of  
McChocoburger. He was concerned that the constant gang wars were  
disturbing his business.

Naturally, the Turks being kind, heart warming people did the right  
thing and told the gangs off for being naughty. Unsurprisingly, the gangs  
backed off, probably due to the fact that when the Turks told the gangs  
off, they were accompanied by several tanks, two helicopters, three  
sqauds of elite shock troops and a platoon of mechanized warbots.

So McChocoburger was saved, and Dr Barret was so happy he told the  
Turks that they could have free burgers for life. But the average lifespan  
of a Turk was two weeks, Dr Barret had done his homework.

After abit of 'persuasion' from Tseng, Dr Barret had agreed to put the  
deal up to three weeks.

And so the Turks rejoiced at thier free burgers. But it wasnt all  
burgerific... Evil was a foot, and the Turks were all thumbs.

This is the story of the three-week-free-burger-athon, be afraid... Be  
very afraid...

-/-/-/- Day one...

"and thats when I said, buddy, thats not a lampshade, its a turtle!"  
Reno exclaimed, grinning at the other occupents of the car.

"Reno, I was there, and you didnt say that." Tseng shot the redhead  
down from his place on the backseat.

"Yeah, well Elena wasnt! How would she know?" Reno argued back, he  
glanced at his bald friend in the drivers seat. "right Rude?"

"..." Rude dotted.

"Reno, I learned a long time ago not to listen to a word you sa- OWWW!"  
Elena screamed.

"Poke?" Reno asked from the passenger seat, his electro mag rod in  
hand.

"No Reno, no poking." Tseng ordered.

"... My burgers cold..." Rude spoke up.

"Here, give it me!" The redhead ordered, and snatched Rudes bun. "Watch  
this!" Reno pulled out his mag rod again, pressed the tip into the  
middle of the burger and opened his mouth... "Firaga!"

-/-/-/- five minutes later...

Dr Barret glanced up as the door opened, and immediatly put down his  
newspaper. He raised an eyebrow as they approached the counter.

"What the hell happen to you crazy foo's?! Wipe ya goddamn feet!"

Stood before the man of medicene were four soot covered and charred  
Turks, who begrudgingly wiped their feet.

"We had an accident..." Reno admitted.

"We? You mean you had an accident, we were just along for the ride!"  
Elena exclaimed "Oww!"

"Poke!" Reno smiled as he pulled back his Mag rod. Rude snatched it  
from the red head and sighed.

"Your not having this back until you clean my car... Spotless...!" The  
bald man flicked it shut and placed it inside his jacket, at which  
point Reno pounced on him, grabbed his shades and ran over to the counter.  
He placed them down and lifted his hand threatingly.

"Give me the rod or the shades get it!"

Rude grimanced as the Reno applied some pressure to the frame.

"Dont do anything hasty..."

"Give back Betty!"

"Clean my car..."

"Give me my damn rod!"

"Clean my car!"

"Get a job!"

"Wha...?"

"Give. Back. Betty!" Reno slammed his fist down to emphasise his point,  
only realising when he heard the crash what he'd done. "erm... Rude,  
lets not do anything hasty..."

Rude pulled a spare pair of shades from his jacket, reached in again  
and retrieved his mag rod and Renos. He glanced at Tseng and flicked the  
rods open. "Poke?"

Tseng nodded at Rude. "Poke. Reno, run."

Rude took of in a sprint, surprising everyone with his speed. Reno  
gulped and took off, jumping over the counter and into the kitchen. Rude  
followed closely.

The two remaining Turks walked over to the counter.

"Dr Barret. We require more burgers and the use of your restrooms."  
Tseng spoke up.

"That hurts! Ah!!" Renos voice rang out from the back.

Dr Barret sighed. "Toilets are that way, Ill put the grill on..."

"Eat frying pan baldy!!"

"Stay still so I can hit you!" Rude retorted.

-/-/-/- Soom time later...

"I look like an idiot!" Reno exclaimed as he walked from the restroom.

"Well you are an idiot, so I guess you match!" Elena screamed at her  
redheaded teammate, the anger at her own attire made it clear that she  
was in no mood for his antics. "I told myself Id never wear anything like  
this again!"

Somebody tapped Reno on the shoulder. He turned around and let out a  
gasp.

"Well it could be worse..." Rude spoke up as he brushed past Reno.

"Is that...?" Elena started.

"It looks like one..." Tseng concluded.

"But that would mean..."

"Yes... Rude is wearing a chicken suit..." Tseng said, with a not quite  
so straight face.

"The thing is, its actually pretty comfy." Rude explained, "and it was  
either this or the female version of your outfits... And to be honest,  
I dont think a scirt would suit me... Now, has anybody got anymore  
tissue, this ones getting a little full?"

Dr Barret stifled a laugh as he looked over the Turks. Rude in his  
chicken suit with a bloody tissue stuffed up his nose and cracked shades.  
Reno with his McChocoburgler striped outfit, his face a collection of  
bruises, his ponytail poking through his cap and his right arm hanging at  
an odd angle. Tseng and Elena were dressed similar, the two Turks wore  
red shirts, a cap and black pants, the only thing bad about their  
attire was the fact that they were covered in stains and grease.

Bring... Bring... Bring... Tseng grabbed his phone from his pant pocket  
and flipped it open. "Tseng. Yes sir. McChocoburger sir. We'll be  
right there." with that the Turk leader put the phone back and glanced at  
his team. "Elena, grab the burgers. Reno, help her. Rude... Replace that  
tissue. We have a mission and a long walk ahead of us."

The Turks jumped to attention and set about to there tasks.

"Can somebody change my tissue? My hands are inside the suit..."

-/-/-/- end... -/-/-/-

Well, after something like two years lying dormant, Im back.

I hope you all liked the first chapter of McChocoburger, hopefully it  
will be something like the Turk Olympics in its comedy, but its  
something new aswell. Speaking of my other fics, I dont really see any of them  
being continued, sorry! I will do something with them eventually, just  
not anytime soon, going to concentrate on the new stuff for the moment.  
:)

Also, Id like to thank Emmy, aka 'Darkbeerangel' for reminding me about  
my writing. Woo! Thanks alot:D cant wait to see your new stuff! And  
check out her fics if your looking for Turk fics, classic storys in  
there.

Reviews are appreiciated and will be returned. Id love to know your  
opinions :)


End file.
